By Crystal
A/N: This is an Obidala crossover with Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. The plot and dialogue comes from a scene in Season 5 Episode 6 “Fun and Games.” It’s a rather complicated storyline where most of the S.H.I.E.L.D. team have been transported into space about 90 years into the future save for one member. They find themselves in a tricky situation and work towards reuniting the team to find a way back to their original timeline. Obi-Wan is in the role of Leopold Fitz (the one who was left behind), Padmé is in the role of Jemma Simmons, C-3PO is in the role of Enoch and Anakin (mentioned but not featured) is in the role of Daisy Johnson, mysteriously being referred to as “Destroyer of Worlds.”
“That is Lady Karaba. She is a demented brute - her affection a curse to anyone who receives it.” The golden protocol droid indicated to the bulky female enjoying the dark red liquid in the corner - it was supposedly wine but with the occasional flicker of her fork-like tongue emerging from her pointed teeth, the effect was rather unsettling. Still, it was useful to know.
“And there is Senator Gaius Ponarian. I am...repulsed by the sight. Even the man’s closest friends find his temperament to be that of a diseased child monster.” Obi-Wan bit back the chuckle by clearing his throat, amused by the results of C-3PO’s slight modifications that followed by the memory wipe. Thankfully speaking at a softer volume was one that was very useful in this situation.
“Seems Kasius has assembled the worst of the worst,” observed Obi-Wan, more to himself than to his companion.
“Do not fear sir. You are far more reprehensible than any other creature in this room.”
Obi-Wan raised his eyebrow. “Thanks for that, Threepio.”
“You’re quite welcome. Artoo found it a rather fun pursuit, constructing your alias. No longer are you Obi-Wan Kenobi, but instead, Boshtok, a vile space Marauder of unlimited wealth.”
The Jedi Master cut quite a roguish figure in his dark coloured ensemble, giving him an air of the debonair yet dangerous, someone not to double-cross.
“Was the brooch really necessary?” asked Obi-Wan, uncomfortably fingering the glitzy jewels on his right breast pocket.
“Indeed. That medal signifies the number of enemy lives you’ve taken.”
“Just...seems rather odd wearing a medal with little rhinestones on it,” commented Obi-Wan, thinking that they were suited more on a certain lady he knew.
“You no doubt realise those are Geg-ku larvae.” Threepio’s haughty attitude was beginning to wear on Obi-Wan’s nerves and he wanted to direct his full focus on the mission.
“Okay, you know what? Let’s drop the charade, find the others and we’ll fight our way out.”
If the droid’s face was able to be expressive, his reaction would be one of bewilderment. “The chances of survival would be less than 2% for each individual.”
Obi-Wan ignored the comment as a movement caught his attention at the far corner of the room between the cultured trees and the plates of refreshments. A lovely figure emerged, dressed in the loose pale blue robes and forehead painted gold as those of Kasius’ personal servants.
“That’s Padmé Amidala,” gasped Obi-Wan.
“Would you like me to broker an introduction?” asked the droid, oblivious to his absurd notion.
Whispering in slight annoyance, Obi-Wan said, “Why would I need you to introduce me to Padmé Amidala?”
“It’s Marauder protocol,” said Threepio simply.
Across the room, the Kree host in turn was making observations on his guests - eyeing up who would fetch him the highest bids for his precious prize. After that, he should have enough wealth to win back his father’s good graces.
“Ah, the Marauder,” pointed his chief aide. Kasius’ attention was distracted slightly as his newest servant acquisition brought him a plate full of delicacies before returning to her work at the table behind him. He was pleased to show off such a beautiful specimen, flaunting his status to his guests.
“Look at the snivelling horde. These same ingrates mocked me all these years, yet now they hover about, clamouring for my favour,” sneered Kaisius to his chief aide, then chuckled to himself.
“I, too, am unfamiliar with Marauder, though his fortune is rumoured to be vast,” continued Kasius rather gleefully. His chief aide gave him a stern knowing look at this remark.
“You want me to keep an eye on him,” considered Kasius, brow frowning as his chief aide nodded slightly. They abandoned their conversation as one of his guests came forward to greet him.
“Ponarian, how great to see you again, dear friend,” said Kasius, smiling through gritted teeth, admiring his gold finery whilst despising the Senator’s very existence.
“Kasius. Pleasure to meet you as always,” greeted the guest in return. Kasius, wanting to display his own wealth, guided them towards his sculpture collection on the other side of the room.
This was the chance that Obi-Wan has been waiting for. He made his way over towards Padmé. Feigning interest in the refreshments, Obi-Wan stood discretely behind her.
In a low whisper, he said, “Padmé, it’s me. Don’t turn around. Just play it cool.”
She continued her work as if she hadn’t heard him, occasionally staring out of the transparisteel as if considering the vastness of space. She had always been good at undercover acting, though he noted the sadness in her demeanour.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he sighed earnestly. “You know, I spent six months locked up in an off-the-books military prison...not to mention 80 years frozen in space...all just hoping to find you...and here you are.”
He longed to touch her, knowing that he couldn’t in order not to blow his cover.
“You know, I realised something. The universe can’t stop us. We’ve crossed galaxies. We’ve travelled through time. We’ve survived execution in a Geonosian arena just so we could be together. Now, a love like that...that’s stronger than any curse. And you and I...we are unstoppable together.”
Taking a deep breath, he then continued on with his heartfelt realisation. “I...I don’t want to live another day without you.”
“So, Padmé Amidala, will you marry me?” He paused with bated breath, waiting to see her joy. Instead, she continued acting as if she was actually ignoring him.
“I know...I mean, I know I said, “Play it cool,” but I didn’t mean play it this cool,” he said, crestfallen. He thought his confession would garner some kind of reaction.
“Padmé...” he said, reaching out to her.
“Is there a problem?” Next thing he knew Kasius was beside him. Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan quickly changed back to his marauder persona.
“I asked your servant a question, which she ignored,” growled Obi-Wan. Finally Padmé looked at him, concern and anxiety emitting from her.
“My apologies. My servitors are only allowed to hear the voice of their master,” said Kasius pompously.
“Oh. Are they?” bellowed Obi-Wan, showing extensive vexation. “Well, why don’t you tell me how your guests’ needs are met when your slaves can’t hear them?” To complete the scene, he slammed his fist down on the table, making the plates rattle. The room’s tension doubled, with all eyes on them.
Reaching for a device, Kasius grimaced as he pushed a button. “There,” he said. Padmé blinked and twitched slightly, seeming to become more alert suddenly. She looked at Obi-Wan.
“Thank you,” said Obi-Wan gruffly, inclining his head.
“This one is quite exemplary. In fact, she also travelled through time - with the Destroyer of Worlds...” boasted Kasius. “...which probably explains her flawless complexion.” As Kasius stroked her cheek, Obi-Wan had to squelch down the bile rising in his throat. He could feel Padmé’s discomfort though she was trying hard not to show it.
Obi-Wan tempered down his nervousness. “Is she for sale?” he asked off-handedly, trying not to seem either too eager or disinterested.
Kasius smiled, knowing he had the Marauder’s attention. “Not independently. She comes as a companion, for she is quite adept at motivating the Destroyer.”
Obi-Wan took a step closer and boldly looked his host straight in the eye. “Well, I find the only motivation people ever really need...” he paused and grinned, “...is pain. And its proper application.”
Kasius stared back at him, weighing up Obi-Wan’s words before bursting out with a chuckle. “A wonderful sentiment. I should have expected no less from a man with such an impressive brooch.”
He seemed to have successfully established a rapport with Kasius which would help in negotiating a price later on. Obi-Wan joined in with a conspiratorial laugh of his own.
Kasius’ attention turned to Padmé’. “Ah - I need you to go see what has been reaped from today’s harvest.”
“What? Terran food awaits?” Said Obi-Wan nonchalantly.
“A bounty, though the harvest is something else. Earlier today, my men were carrying out the process of Terrigenesis, hoping to produce new Inhumans for my guests. If any were so inclined.”
Terrigenesis. This was bad.
“Depends on how many units I have left after I purchase the Destroyer,” said Obi-Wan confidently.
“It is said you are a man of expensive tastes. We shall soon see if you have the resources to support such desires.”
Obi-Wan raised his chin cockily as he inwardly made a resolve to make a plan to get them out of this mess.
I will get us out of this Padmé. And after I do, I am marrying you and never leaving your side again.