The Final Goodbye

by Crystal

"Obi-Wan, there's still good in him...I know..." she said hoarsely. She took one last shaky breath and then she was gone.

It all happened too suddenly. He had pleaded with her to hold on and she had given all of her strength to birthing her twins. Obi-Wan felt her pass into the Force as he stood rooted in shock, her babe crying in his arms.

Padmé...I didn't get a chance to tell you..., thought Obi-Wan. He struggled to finish the thought in his own mind, grief threatening to completely overwhelm him.

All around machines beeped and droids bustled with resuscitation, only to confirm moments later what Obi-Wan and Yoda already knew – Senator Amidala was dead.

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After the meeting with Yoda and Bail, Obi-Wan requested that he have some time alone with her before they departed for their respective destinations. The twins were being watched by the Senator and the Grandmaster – Bail adoring his adoptive daughter and Yoda meditating by a sleeping Luke, giving Obi-Wan the space to process things more clearly.

Obi-Wan stepped into the medical suite, pausing to let the droids shut down and the staff exit. When all was clear, he brought a stool next to her resting form and placed his hand upon her vaguely warm one.

She was still beautiful, even in death. Obi-Wan's heart ached at the sight of her, the flood of tears bursting from the once tightly restrained dam.

Now that it was all over, the shroud of the dark side had enveloped the Galaxy and all the lies of the Sith become plain. In one day, the brightest lights in the galaxy had been snuffed out. Padmé's presence had been a shining beacon of hope to so many, including himself.

The price of war had been too great. The Jedi had lost themselves when they swapped peacekeeping for military command. This good woman had fought hard to bring about peace and positive change in the Republic that she loved in an arena filled with corruption. Yet they all had been manipulated, pawns in dejarik game to bring about their extinction. 

Dear sweet, fierce Padmé. Oh that they could exchange places – he would gladly give up his own life for hers.

"Be at peace now Padmé," he said. He had rarely used her given name in public, opting for the title of Senator or addressing her as Milady. Saying her name seemed too intimate, too sacred. He had always considered her to be a good friend and held a platonic affection for her. He could see though why she was a desirable woman. That his apprentice held a flame for her was not at all surprising - he made no secret of it. That she had accepted his offering and returned it enough to give herself over to the ties of matrimony was. Obi-Wan had supposed the betrayal of their relationship lay in the fact that it was kept secret from him. It had wounded him. But he was always ready to forgive. He would not informed the Council and if they had found out, he would fight for them. For her sake.

"We're taking you to Naboo Padmé. You're going home, back to where you belong." He stroked her hand. "Leia will be looked after by Bail and Breha on Alderaan. You know that she will be loved by them." He paused, gathering what little strength he had left. "I will take Luke to Tatooine. He will be with his family and he will be cared for. I will watch over him for you," he said unevenly, the weight of atonement pressing on his chest. 

"I'm sorry I failed you Padmé. I hope that you forgive me," he whispered, as a fresh assault of tears fell from his blue-grey eyes.

She would tell him to forgive himself, in her unique blend of candour and kindness. Force, this hurt so much! To not hear her voice, the way she laughed, seeing her dazzling smile. Things that he had somehow taken for granted, foolishly supposing that they would always remain in his life. 

Of all the tangle of lies that had surrounded him, he came face to face with the lie that he had told himself. He knew he cared, a little too much. From a certain point of view, everybody did, he told himself. But realising now, in the deafening silence drowned out by the thudding of his throbbing heart, was the deeper knowledge that he had kept in the dark crevice of his soul, locked away from even himself. He had loved her. He still loved her. And would continue to do so as long as he lived.

He indulged himself in a parting chaste kiss upon her forehead, whispering his confession of love and taking the last moments to memorise her features. The time was at hand and he could sense Yoda's presence approaching him. 

He arose from his seat and bowed low before her in deference of her majesty and greatness. Gathering what courage he had left, he schooled his features and wiped away his tears.

"Goodbye Padmé. Until we meet again," he said, gentility laced with affection. With that parting adieu, he left his love forever.