Promises

By Takianna

The fight destroyed Obi-wan, just as it destroyed Anakin. The child Obi-wan taught from an early age, now lay dying at the edge of a lava river. He was no more the friend Obi-wan knew. The brokenness of the boy would never be something he could mend. Their lives together were now separate.

His heart broke at the screams, but this was a choice Anakin made on his own. This was a choice that no one could make for him. Obi-wan was merely the force’s pawn in a game meant to end the darkness shrouding Anakin’s beautiful light.

That light would never shine again. Obi-wan saw to it, but it was something he did reluctantly. Anakin was his brother and his brother was now dead. He missed the light.

Padme laid motionless, barely able to continue to breathe. Obi-wan failed her as well. Failed in protecting her from something that was inevitable. If he loved her, like he always claimed, he would have been able to save her, but at this point, he’s not sure there is much left to save. Obi-wan wasn’t sure what torturous things she had seen and what damage Anakin managed to inflict on her frail frame.

“Obi-wan? Is Anakin alright?”

Still, in the end, she was thinking only of Anakin. Only of the feelings of a young child she met on Tatooine and not even thinking about the ravages of his harshness on her body. She wasn’t even thinking of her children. The two small lives that depended on her to protect them and sustain them.

Yes, he knew there were two. How did all those other jedi not know from the brightness that filled the force when she was around? Still he would act surprised because there was also another secret no one knew. One of those children was his. Now his flesh and blood could be in danger because he hadn’t see what Anakin was becoming. Obi-wan didn’t recognize just how evil his brother had turned. Maybe he didn’t want to see what was happening in front of him, too caught up in the way he felt about Padme.

Naive. Obi-wan was so busy clinging to the moments with Anakin that he didn’t look and really see who he was becoming. Never again would Obi-wan let this happen to someone he loved.

Never.

<><>

“She’s dying?” he croaked at the machine delivering the news of Padme’s turn for the worse. There were no ideas why she was dying, but Obi-wan was not going to let her slip from this life and leave those children alone. He couldn’t raise two children strong in the force and strong willed as Padme and Anakin were.

“Stay with me Padme,” Obi-wan whispered leaning closer to her so that she could hear him. She was in pain, the babies were arriving too early, but he hoped they would survive the trauma their mother endured. She had been given such a terrible potential death sentence at the hands of someone who proclaimed to love her. Obi-wan knew he loved her, there was never a proclamation he felt he needed to make outloud. He merely showed her every time they were alone together.

Anakin only loved himself. Obi-wan knew the true warmth of loving another and he only learned that from his time with Padme in the secret times they spent together. Still she clung to the hope that Anakin would remain the love of her life. Jealousy was a terrible thing and Obi-wan also knew how that felt when he looked at Anakin.

“I don’t want to go,” she said in a desperate whisper. “Help me, Obi.”

The words were filled with sadness. They brought tears to his eyes as he cradled both of her children in his arms. What would he do to save the person he confessed to loving so much? What lengths would he ask the force to take?

Closing his eyes, he willed the force to envelop her and begin the healing process. Obi-wan couldn’t tell where the source of her life ending injuries were, but he used all he had to buffer her and create healing inside of her body.

He didn’t know how long passed, but he remembered the droid taking the children away as he continued to heal Padme’s broke body and broken spirit. The blackness inside of her ebbed and receded as he pushed further with the light. He would save her, but the cost to him would likely be fatal, but his life didn’t matter without hers.

<><>

His eyes fluttered open as he felt someone jumping at the end of the bed. Obi-wan peered down at the blue eyed blond boy jumping up and down on the mattress, a smile of pure delight plastered across his face.

“Luke,” Obi-wan said pushing himself up to his elbows to peer at the boy who had awakened him from a dreamless sleep. Obi-wan was thankful dreams of Anakin and their final battle were few and far between now.

“Higher daddy,” Luke giggled as he jumped again. Obi-wan reached out with the force and pushed Luke a little higher into the air. Luke squealed in delight and landed safely back on the end of the bed.

A smile crossed Obi-wan’s lips as he looked at the small child, his child, in the morning light as it filtered through the window.

“Me too daddy,” a small girl’s voice called from the doorway. Obi-wan watched the dark headed child climb onto the bed and begin jumping along with her brother. He once again reached out to the force and pushed Leia higher into the air. She squealed and found footing back on the bed, her eyes shining in happiness.

“Where is your mother?” he asked smiling as the two children climbed on top of him, each coming up to give him kisses and wrap their arms around his neck. Obi-wan never knew he would be a jungle gym until the twins came along.They were always climbing over him and up him, trying to get his attention. He loved it though. A feeling he would never have had in the jedi temple.

“C’mon,” Luke said pulling his hand. Obi-wan reluctantly got out of his comfortable bed and followed the eager boy down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Happy father’s day,” Padme smiled as she finished setting the table with plates, a large mound of pancakes in the middle of the table. They had been up for quite awhile.

“What?” he asked.

“We thought we would celebrate a special day for you because you have taken on so much over the past three years,” Padme said, her smile warm.

Since they came to Naboo, after the terrible incident with Anakin and the Republic, Obi-wan served as the father for the children. His relationship with Padme was another story. She managed to keep him at arm's length most of the time, unable or unwilling to let her heartbreak again for a man that was a jedi.

Obi-wan had his own room in the home and shared the chores, helping to bring up Luke and Leia. Padme said she was thankful he was there to deal with their force powers when they began to be able to use them, but she never spoke a word of the affair they had before the twins were born or that he was Luke’s father. Obi-wan was sure it was because Anakin hurt her so badly. A heart could mend, but it took time.

“Thank you,” Obi-wan said finally and sat down in between the twins to enjoy breakfast, although he was sure he wouldn’t get a chance to eat much with the twins on either side. At this age, they required constant guidance and attention.

Padme sat down quietly across from him and their eyes met. It wasn’t uncommon, but sometimes he felt self conscious when she looked at him with eyes that once looked on him with love. The heat began to rise in his cheeks and he looked away, paying attention to Leia as she tried to cover her food in syrup.

“Leia,” he said quietly and took the bottle from her small hands, helping her, as he always did.

In three years, these children were his. There was no question, no division about which twin belonged to him, although clearly Luke looked more like him than Leia. Leia also carried the traits of her father, stubborn to the point of madness and always trying to break the rules. Obi-wan often had to correct her for things she thought were unfair.

“I can do it,” she said crossing her arms over her chest and sticking out her bottom lip.

“I know you can, but everyone needs help sometimes,” Obi-wan said gently, putting the bottle back on the table, just out of her reach. It was better to be safe than sorry or they would all be a sticky mess.

“Yes everyone does need help,” Padme said, her voice distant. Obi-wan felt that there was something wrong that she just wanted to tell him, but with little time for them to talk, he knew it was difficult. Privacy with two children was almost nonexistent.

“You two stay here and I want to talk to your mother alone. If you sneak and listen, Master Noel will not be coming this year,” Obi-wan said threatening the children with the gift giving jedi he created when they were old enough to understand the nature of giving. He wondered if that was something he remembered from his childhood or if it really was his own creation. His memory was fuzzy on so many things.

Padme followed him to the small living area, filled with toys and books that were loved beyond measure by the little hands that played with them.

“Are you OK?” he asked looking at her with a discerning eye. Something wasn’t right, but maybe she was just feeling under the weather.

“I’m just thinking about us,” Padme said sighing and crossing her arms over herself as though protecting herself from something.

“You made it clear to me Padme that I’m here to help raise the children. I don’t expect anything from you and I don’t want you to feel any kind of pressure,” he said truthfully. She had given him a home when he had nothing and he would always be thankful for being able to help with the children. They needed a father. They needed someone who knew about the force. He was happy to be both.

“I made a promise to myself when I was laying on that table in the medical ward ...” Padme started looking at him. Obi-wan started to see tears forming in the corner of her eyes. He didn’t want her to be upset. He took a step towards her, hoping to offer comfort, but thought better about touching her. She made it clear that she didn’t want him to be physical with him.

“I knew that if you could help me, if you could save me, I would owe you everything,” she said, her voice thick with tears. “You’ve given me part of you.”

“Yes, Luke.”

“No, there is so much more. I have your memories Obi-wan.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. What could she possibly mean?

“Something happened when you saved me. Something beautiful and frightening at the same time,” Padme said moving and touching his arm. “When the force was surrounding me, a part of you was delivered into my mind. I know how you felt about me, about Anakin, about so many things in your life.”

Obi-wan had heard stories of the transfer of one consciousness to another, but that was something that only a few jedi could ever attempt, let alone perfect. How could he, in the middle of a crisis, do it without even trying.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” he asked, words coming more difficulty to him as he thought about what he accomplished.

“I didn’t want you to worry about me,” she said quietly. “I wanted you to be able to focus on healing your own heart. Anakin meant so much to you, I wanted you to have time. You deserved to worry about yourself. You gave so much to me and the children on that day.”

“Tell me what is happening inside your mind,” Obi-wan said leaning into her a little more, feeling the weight of all they had been through together.

“Just memories,” she said smiling weakly, the tears subsiding for the moment. “I remember when you cut the braid from Anakin’s hair and handed it to him during his knighting ceremony. Such a beautiful memory. I remember the first time you held a lightsaber and when you created your own.

“The memories of holding Master Jinn when he was taking his last breath and feeling the lightsaber hilt vibrate in your hands when you fought Anakin. I remember it all.”

It was Obi-wan’s turn to cry. The tears were unexpected, but he let them roll down his cheeks truly showing her his emotions, which would’ve been impossible mere years ago. She held the memories he had been searching for since he awoke after saving her. Those memories he knew were there, but seemed to always just be out of his reach. He knew he had experienced them, but why couldn’t he remember these things?

“Most of all, I remember how you felt about me,” she said putting her arms around his neck and laying her head on his chest. “Inside of you, I never knew all of those feelings were possible. You were so detached about our relationship. I was never sure your heart was fully mine. I know it was and always would be.”

Obi-wan pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. In his whole life, he had never known anyone like her. She was strong and soft, at the same time. She made him think things he would have never even considered before.

“I will always love you Padme,” Obi-wan said softly. “I promise.”