Disobedience and Treason
By Takianna

He looked over the holozine again, checking to make sure he was reading it correctly. It looked like his final chance with Padmé had a window of opportunity that was closing too quickly for his liking. She was set to be wed, but Obi-Wan knew her heart didn’t belong to this man.

Because he had held her heart for almost ten years. Unable to act fully upon their feelings, she continued to push him away, but that was not stopping him from pursuing her at every chance. Her pushing became more enthusiastic over the past several months and now he knew just why she threw herself into not seeing him.

“Master,” Anakin said plopping into a seat next to him and taking the holozine out of Obi-Wan’s hands. This boy was getting to be too much for his own good. Obi-Wan would have never acted this way around his master, but love sick teenagers were a rather unusual thing to have in the jedi order. Anakin was turning out to be the best in his class at chasing after something he could never have or shouldn’t even think about having.

“Can you believe it?” he asked pushing the picture of Padmé and her soon to be husband towards Obi-Wan.

“She is required to marry Anakin,” Obi-Wan said trying to be reasonable. “She cannot continue to serve her planet if she is not wed. Those are their rules and you need to respect them. They are her culture and therefore a part of her.”

A long and labored sigh escaped the boy. Obi-Wan wished he could join with him, but he was the master, he had to be strong. This was a teaching moment for the younger jedi if only Obi-Wan could hold himself together enough to be the teacher.

“I need to see her,” Anakin said pounding a fist on the table, making Obi-Wan jump slightly as the sound startled him.

“What do you think you would accomplish?”

“She needs someone to talk some sense into her.”

“And you’re the right person to do that?”

Anakin grimaced at him and threw the holozine onto the table, skidding it almost to the edge. Obi-Wan could feel the anger coming off the boy, but he needed to learn control.

“No,” Anakin finally said. “I think you are the right person.”

Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes at his student. Sometimes Anakin was far more perceptive than he was given credit. Obi-Wan just hoped this wasn’t one of those times and he merely thought Obi-Wan would be able to make her see the error in her ways.

He had tried.

“I’m sorry Anakin, but I know the customs and I chose to respect her choice,” he said picking his words carefully. Although I don’t have to like them, he thought to himself.

Anakin grunted and rose from the table, storming towards his bedroom. It was the sanctuary he continued to keep Obi-Wan out of and would never let the older jedi see what he was doing in there. As far as Obi-Wan knew, there was a whole ship in there, scattered among pieces that were yet to find their mate. It would be good of Anakin to calm himself and if fixing things made him feel better, than he could use that as his therapy.

Obi-Wan had other matters to attend to right now.

“You can’t be here,” Padmé said in a hurried whisper as she met Obi-Wan at the door of her apartment. There was a large party going on in the background, almost drowning out her voice, although the quietness was for his sake.

“I was invited as a representative of the jedi order,” Obi-Wan said calmly and folded his hands into his sleeves. Yes, he had worked it so he could be the representative, but she didn’t need to know what kind of favors he called in to be there. For all she knew, Master Yoda himself asked Obi-Wan to attend the celebration and she would never refuse Master Yoda.

“Please,” she said, her eyes showing some desperation and almost begging him to listen. “Go back to the temple.”

“Believe me, I have no other motives than to wish you a happy engagement,” Obi-Wan said bending the truth. Everything had a small amount of truth in it, from a certain point of view. What his real intentions were, he would reveal much, much later.

She huffed at him and didn’t move from her place in the doorway blocking his entrance to the party. A tall, handsome man with dark hair came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. Obi-Wan’s eyes took in every movement of the couple and noted how uncomfortable Padmé seemed to be in his grasp. She was never the uncomfortable in his grasp.

“Who is your friend?” the man asked. Obi-Wan knew that it was her fiance Einar from the holozine article.

“This is jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi,” Padmé said and gestured towards Obi-Wan. He bowed, as was appropriate and met Einar’s eyes with a grace he really didn’t feel inside. What he wanted to do was unlatch his lightsaber and make his point very clear about just who she belonged to. Luckily, he had the control of a jedi master in situations where his temper tended to be hot.

“Jedi?” Einar said, his eyes wide. “You know everyone don’t you darling?”

The sigh from Padmé’s lips was audible and Obi-Wan tried to not let a smile cross his lips, but it was difficult. She didn’t like this man at all, but to continue to serve, she had to marry and Obi-Wan wasn’t available. That put a small kink in their relationship and brought this other man into their bed. A place he would never belong.

“Master Kenobi and his master rescued me during the siege on Naboo,” Padmé said her words seeming to drift back to the memories of the first time they met. It was only mere days after before they began their love affair. Quietly, secretly meeting all the times they could during those first years and then as the leash on Obi-Wan became longer, their meetings were more frequent and became more intimate.

Obi-Wan made love to her many times. Whether it was here or somewhere they secreted away together. Always careful, never bold in the way they spent time together. He was thankful for the friends he had on Coruscant who would never say a word and his ability to wipe minds if it was needed.

All in the name of protecting her. What happened to him, didn’t matter. He was strong. Her virtue always needed to be intact if she was to remain in service to her system.

What they were doing could be considered treason, after all. A high ranking member of the Senate in collusion with a high ranking member of the jedi order would make a million people’s head spin at the thought of what they were concocting together. That could be considered corruption and he didn’t believe that Chancellor Palpatine would take kindly to people meeting behind his back. Ever.

“Please come in and join the party,” Einar said smiling at Obi-Wan with a genuine warmth. Little did he know that Obi-Wan would be the one in her bed tonight, taking her to places that he would never be able to take her with powers that only a jedi could utilize.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said remembering his manners as he eyed Padmé. She blushed and turned from his probing eyes back towards the party in her honor.

“Something to drink?” Einar asked over the din of the party.

“I’m sure I can find my way to the bar,” Obi-Wan laughed. “Congratulations milady.”

It was the title she held when they first met and Obi-Wan was more than willing to use it as a term of endearment from then on. She knew exactly what he was saying, wrapped up in one small word.

“Do you forgive me?” he asked quietly, his lips brushing against her bare collarbone in the dim light of her apartment. The party lasted until the early morning hours and Obi-Wan waited patiently for everyone to leave before returning to be by her side.

“We … can’t do this,” she said trying to push him away. She wasn’t trying all that hard as Obi-Wan continued to spread light kisses across her skin.

“Does he suspect?” Obi-Wan asked stopping to look into her dark eyes. They were where he lost himself so many times before. She was his anchor in a life that sometimes seemed to drift. Without her, he would be lost in a sea of jedi who all lived the same life.

“Would it make you feel differently?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. In their ten years together, few had suspected, but none had dug deeper into their relationship. It was something best left unasked and unspoken for the better of everyone involved. He learned to live with the life they found themselves boxed inside.

He worked past the knowing looks from Master Jinn and he learned to just let himself be free when he was with her.

“I feel differently Obi-Wan.”

It stopped him in his tracks. He felt his insides freeze in terror. This was the moment he knew would come, eventually. She would end his pursuit of her. He knew that she believed her soon to be husband would be the end of all the dalliances they shared. It would be her way out without shattering the person he had become.

“What do you mean?” he asked trying to smile hoping that she was joking.

“There is a time in life when we have to face the facts about what we are doing. There is a time when we should grow up,” Padmé started softly, releasing his biceps and stepping away from him. “I have to do that now. I have to grow or my people will be left in the hands of someone I cannot and do not want to serve their best interests. I have been selfish. I have only thought about myself while I’ve laid in your arms.”

“You have always thought of others, no matter our situation,” he said reminding her of all the times she served her people and it didn’t interfere with what they had together.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said, her voice sounding watery as though she was about to cry. “I love you with a heart I know will be broken every time you leave. I love you in a way that I shouldn’t, but I want to grasp every moment with you until my fingers bleed from gripping it so tightly. I want to be able to show others how much I adore you and you deserve that adoration to be public.”

“Is this about your marriage?” he asked softly. Her demeanor was different since her engagement was announced, as it should be. He was asking her to live a lie that would be the most difficult one she ever lived. It was selfish, but he wanted her.

“Yes and no,” she admitted. “It’s about everything we have and don’t have together. It’s about the stars and moons you promised me and the inability for you to deliver a single one of them to my door.”

“I delivered myself. I hoped it was all you would need from me.”

She sighed, pursing her lips like she did before giving a speech that would need to sway people to see her point of view. Obi-Wan had seen it many times before and knew that she was getting ready to tell him her farewell.

He didn’t want her goodbye. His heart could not take being ripped from her side, he knew that much and he didn’t want to even make an attempt of living without her. The only thing he wanted was her.

“We are at the end of our path, Obi-Wan,” she finally said resignation clear in her voice.

“When are you set to be wed?” he asked, a plan formulating inside his mind. It was like nothing he ever attempted before, but at this moment, with ten years of their lives hanging in the balance, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

“In two weeks,” she said, her voice filled with all the tears she was refusing to shed in front of him. He admired the strength she always tried to portray, even in the face of such a difficult decision.

“Give me that long,” he said begging her with his words to promise she would not give up on their life together until he had his last chance with her.

She nodded in agreement.

Obi-Wan rose from his knees and stood, with head bowed, in front of Master Yoda. The ancient green jedi master allowed Obi-Wan to enter into his inner sanctum where few were allowed. This was where Yoda communed throughout the day with the force and it guided his decisions. It was just an honor to be granted access.

“Inside your life, turmoil I sense,” his spry voice said as Obi-Wan raised his eyes to meet those of the wise master. Those eyes seemed to see all of Obi-Wan, even the parts he buried far away from others.

“Yes master,” he said truthfully. If Yoda felt it, then he knew there would be no reason to deny it. The little master seemed to know many things about the jedi entrusted to his care. The force spoke loudly to him. Obi-Wan wished it would tell him what to do now.

“Treason, it is,” Yoda said without preamble.

“I don’t wish to be a jedi anymore,” Obi-Wan said, his voice faltering near the end of the sentence. In his heart, he knew that being a jedi was all he ever wanted, but for a chance to make everything right with Padmé, he was willing to throw away the life the force chose for him.

“Such a rash decision it is,” Yoda said.

“I’ve had ten years to arrive at this point,” Obi-Wan said being honest. If he was leaving the order, he didn’t want them to think they were the reason he no longer wanted to be a jedi. Love was stronger than the pull of his teachings. He had to listen to his heart, although that was not the way of the order.

“Bend the rules, I should,” Yoda said a smile playing across his face. The jedi master was always full of surprises, but Obi-Wan didn’t want strings attached to his proposal. He wanted to be free to be with the woman he loved and when it came down to it, she needed to be the most important thing in his life, next to the force.

“Let me tell you a story,” Yoda began with a small giggle as though he was reliving his memories. “Not always were the jedi kept from attachment, in fact, many were encouraged to marry and multiply. Only in the modern era of the jedi, have we restricted attachment.”

Obi-Wan nodded as the ancient master spoke about a past that he was sure Yoda knew of personally.

“When restricted the jedi were, better their abilities became,” Yoda continued. “But their hearts were often broken and their numbers began to dwindle.”

The number of force sensitive children born had been declining in the past several decades making the jedi go to terrible and sometimes forceful links to retrieve the children from their home planets. They were often pried away from their parents as though they were property of the jedi and the parents had no legal rights. It was a sad sight to see and often made Obi-Wan wonder why they continued to preach non-attachment to the padawans.

“I remember when you came to the temple,” Yoda giggled. “Special people, your parents were.”

The room was silent for a moment and Obi-Wan felt nervous as he waited for the judgement of the grand master of all the jedi.

“Your mother was a special student of mine,” he continued. “I sat with her in conference much as we are doing now. A great politician, your father was, but ready to settle down. I gave them my blessing, just as I give you.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Obi-Wan said shocked and not sure he heard the words correctly. Maybe in his need to have this go easily, Obi-Wan heard what he wanted to hear.

“A strong jedi, you are,” Yoda said smiling again, the knowing smile of a father figure talking to his beloved child. “I would not ask that you give up being a jedi. Elsewhere, your counsel is needed. With Padmé, you should be.”

Nervous didn’t cover how he was feeling. This was the day, two weeks from the last time he spoke to Padmé. She had no idea the things he did in her name, in their name. She would’ve stopped him from trying to denounce his place among the jedi. Padmé always knew that Obi-Wan’s jedi ability was intertwined with who he was. It was his identity and she would never ask him to give it away.

He chose that path all on his own.

Secretly, Obi-Wan had manipulated Einar to forget he had ever been betrothed to Padmé. When they met prior to the wedding, Obi-Wan made sure to wipe his memory of all the things that had to do with Padmé. He would never know how close he came to marrying the one person Obi-Wan loved. How close he came to breaking Obi-Wan’s heart.

Anakin. Well that was another touchy subject at the moment. When Obi-Wan explained that he would be leaving the temple to serve elsewhere, Anakin had a million questions. In the end, Obi-Wan had to tell him the truth. Anakin was reassigned to another master the day before Obi-Wan’s departure and still was not speaking to him.

All the hopes Anakin had for his relationship with Padmé were dashed with Obi-Wan’s revelation that he had been in a love affair with Padmé for ten years. It had to hurt his former students in a way that he could never understand. Anakin was strong and young though. There would be plenty of time to love again. There would be time to heal and forgive as well. Obi-Wan would just have to test the waters later.

“Ready?” the officiant asked waking Obi-Wan from his thoughts. All he could do was nod in agreement wondering if his voice would return in time to speak to his love. Padmé had no idea he would be waiting for her at the end of the aisle. Obi-Wan thought it was better to surprise her then to make her overthink everything. If he told her ahead of time, she would have talked herself out of marriage altogether.

Yes, he was still a jedi, but he was serving in a different capacity to the council now. He would be the consort to the representative of Naboo. He would no longer be held to his office on the council and he would be free to advise Padmé on the workings of the jedi order and also her decisions regarding legislative problems. Most importantly, he would be free to be her husband, no questions asked.

“It looks like your bride is ready as well,” the officiant said. Obi-Wan followed closely behind the man out to the main cathedral area. Almost every seat in the large building was filled and he could hear the audible gasp when it was him and not Einar standing next to the officiant. The murmuring began almost immediately. People didn’t understand that he was a different kind of jedi now, but that was something he would need to explain to the people Padmé represented at a later date. Today was just to marry his love, nothing more.

The music swelled, a beautiful song that Obi-Wan was sure Padmé picked herself. It sounded like something she would like, even though there was another subject they never spoke about. What did she like when it came to music? There were a lot of things he still had to learn about her and he would enjoy every minute of it.

His nerves shot into high gear, but Obi-Wan easily calmed himself. He just needed to make it through the moment he saw her and she realized it was Einar standing before her. That would be the time she either flew away or towards him. It was a decision he hoped she made easily.

The large doors at the back of the cathedral opened as the music swelled to its highest point. Obi-Wan felt his heart jump into his throat as several children in beautiful white dressed proceeded down the aisle. They spread white flowers along as they went, dumping glitter and beautiful petals all over the aisle. It was the perfect setting for Padmé to walk down the aisle to him.

Then she appeared, a vision in white, the dress more regal and beautiful than any other she ever possessed during the time Obi-Wan knew her. The beautiful white gown flowed as she walked with a grace learned over her years as serving as queen. She seemed to float above the flowers and glitter as she put one foot in front of the other, smiling at her guests along the way.

Halfway down the aisle, she stopped, her eyes finally focusing on the altar where he stood waiting for her. Obi-Wan felt his insides freeze again, terrified that she would not make it to where he waited and to where he could explain. Then he made a decision, if she was not coming to him, then he would go to her.

“What are you doing here?” she asked when he reached her. The tears were pouring from her eyes and gently he reached up, wiping them away with his thumb, letting his fingers rest behind her neck. This wasn’t a day to be sad. This was a day to rejoice in the fact that he could live his life the way he wanted and that he could be with her.

They could be together forever.

“This can’t be possible,” she said again, her voice a hushed whisper as the music died and people began to murmur among themselves, wondering what was happening in front of them. “I am dreaming.”

“You aren’t dreaming,” he said reassuring her that he was real and he was there to be with her.

“How can you be here?” she asked again as he watched her try to put all the pieces together in her mind. It still was difficult for him to figure out, but it would be easily explained once they were joined together.

“I brought you the stars and the moons you requested.”

Padmé’s hand covered her mouth and she sobbed in joy.